Pray For The Dawn
by autumnrose2010
Summary: Lou, Rhett and Scarlett's great granddaughter, is a sharecropper in Georgia in 1945. Her husband, Rad, has just returned from World War Two when their son Charles tragically dies. Not long afterwards, Rad is stricken with polio.
1. Charles' Funeral

The minister was speaking, but Lou could barely hear what he was saying. Her eyes were fixed on the front of the church, where her oldest son Charles' small, still body lay in his casket. Her husband, Rad, sat at her side, and the three younger children, Timmy, Wyatt, and Ruby, sat almost motionless on the bench beside their parents.

As soon as the funeral was over, friends and neighbors came over to offer their condolences to Rad and Lou, and Lou was comforted by their presence and words. Although she knew that Rad shared her grief, she felt there was a great emotional chasm separating the two of them. She'd been so lonely while he'd been away at war, and so happy to see him again when he'd finally returned. He hadn't been quite as lonely, she knew; yet she refused to let herself think about that. Between working full time at the plant and caring for four children, she hadn't had the opportunity to seek solace, as he had, and she felt certain that if they were ever separated for a long stretch of time again, he'd seek solace again in the same way.

Rad and Lou, united in their grief, held hands as they walked behind their son's casket to the freshly-dug grave, with their fellow mourners following closely behind.

* * *

"The house is just so quiet," Lou said later, as she sat in the small shack looking at the table laden with food. "Oh, Rad, what are we going to do without him?"

"He's in a better place now," Rad said gruffly.

"If' only we'd watched him more closely..."

"Don't do no good to talk about what might have been."

"I know," Lou sighed. "It just happened so fast..." She walked to the dresser and picked up the photo of her great grandparents, Rhett and Scarlett Butler. They'd almost lost their daughter Bonnie when she'd fallen from a pony as a child. _Almost. _But Bonnie had lived. Charles hadn't.


	2. Survival

Rad's cousin Henry, frustrated that Rad and his neighbor Reeve had refused to sell him the small plots of land on which they lived and farmed, had dynamited the levee above the farms, causing a flood in which Charles had drowned. Lou would never forget the sight of Rad carrying Charles' limp body into the house and laying it on the table. Except for being so pale and still, he looked just as if he were sleeping.

The coroner had been called, of course, and then there had been the trip to the funeral home to make the arrangements. For the entire time, Lou had felt as if she were standing outside herself, watching herself go through the motions like an automaton. She and Rad had scarcely spoken to one another at all. It was almost as if they were strangers. Her interactions with her three remaining children had seemed very mechanical as well.

Yet on that first bleak night after Charles had been buried, it suddenly hit her with staggering force that she'd never see his face again, would never hear his voice again, would never hug or kiss him again. Sobs welled up deep inside her, and the tears began to flow. Instantly, Rad's arms were around her, comforting her, and she clung to him like a drowning man clinging to a lifesaver. She knew that he was suffering as well, that the pain he felt now far surpassed any fleeting pleasures he had enjoyed while in Europe, and that fact helped her to feel less bitter toward him. They needed one another now, so much more so than they ever had before.

The next day, Lou began the sad task of boxing up Charles' clothes and other belongings. There was no point in donating them to charity, as they would fit Timmy in a year or two.

Rad and Reeve began the enormous task of rebuilding their farms, which had been decimated by Henry's dynamite. Lou watched the children as they played outside.

"I'm the oldest now," Timmy declared proudly.

"No you ain't," said Wyatt.

"But Charles is gone now, so that makes me the oldest," Timmy insisted.

"Even if he _is _gone now, he's still the oldest," Wyatt retorted.

"Boys, play nicely," Lou yelled at them.

"I miss Charles, Mommy," said Ruby. "When's he coming back?"

"He's not coming back, sweetie," her mother told her. "He's up in heaven with the angels now."

Rad and Reeve worked hard all day long until sundown, stopping only to eat a quick lunch. Lou helped as much as she could, while watching the children to make sure that they were safe. She prepared a big meal that evening because she knew that Rad was going to be hungry after working so hard all day.

When it was finally too dark to work outside, Rad stumbled into the house, sat at the table, and began to devour the food very quickly without saying anything. Lou cleaned up after the children, who'd already eaten. When Rad had finished, he looked fondly at his wife and finally spoke.

"Nothin' like comin' home to your cookin' after a hard day's work."

Lou smiled for the first time that day, and Rad smiled back. Lou felt that perhaps they'd make it, after all. She came from tough stock. Her great grandmother, Scarlett O'Hara, had suffered many hardships and had still triumphed in the end. Lou knew that if Scarlett had done it, she could do it as well.


	3. Rad's Illness

Day after day, Rad and Reeve struggled to rebuild their farms, and slowly but surely, a semblance of order was restored to the devastated land. Lou's days were filled with caring for the children, keeping the house clean, cooking, and other chores. At night, she and Rad made love, and the ache in her heart was temporarily soothed by her husband's loving caresses.

Then came the terrifying morning everything changed forever.

Lou arose and fixed breakfast for Rad and the children as usual, but Rad never came to the table, and when Lou went to check on him, she found him lying in bed shivering.

"Something's wrong," he whimpered. "I feel all weak and funny."

"I'll fetch Dr. Russell right away," Lou said.

Quickly she got the children dressed and left them with a neighbor, then hurried to Dr. Russell's office.

"There's something bad wrong with Rad," she told him breathlessly. "He's laying in bed all shivering and pale. Says he feels funny."

"I'll be there right away," Dr. Russell assured her. They returned to the shack to find Rad still lying in bed, looking even worse than before. Dr. Russell examined him thoroughly and then shook his head. "I"m afraid it's polio," he said gravely.

Lou felt her heart sink. "Is he gonna die?"

Dr. Russell shook his head. "I don't know. Time will tell. The important thing is to get the kids away from here as quickly as possible. He's very contagious."

After making sure that Rad was comfortable, Lou called her mother, Marge, who lived about an hour's drive away.

"Rad has polio," Lou told her mother. "The doctor says he's very contagious. Can you please take the kids for a few weeks?"

"Of course I will!" Marge exclaimed.

Lou sat beside the bed gently brushing Rad's hair back from his forehead and talking to him while she awaited her mother's arrival.

"I'm sorry, Lou," he moaned. "Reeve and me just about had things back to normal. We were gonna start working the fields again just like before..."

"It's all right, darling," said Lou. "It isn't your fault. You couldn't help getting sick. But it's gonna be all right. I called my Mama to come get the kids, and I'm gonna nurse you back to health. Everything's gonna be all right."

Marge arrived, and Lou hugged the children and kissed them good-bye. "Your Daddy's sick, so you have to go stay with Grandma for a little while so you don't get sick too. He's gonna be better again real soon, and then Grandma will bring you back home again," she told them. She stood waving good-bye until the car was out of view.

The next few weeks passed in a blur for Lou. Between caring for Rad and doing as much as she could on the farm, she was soon completely exhausted. Rad slept much of the time, and he often had a high fever and became delirious, rambling nonsense. Dr. Russell came by to check on him frequently, and when Lou asked how her husband was doing, he simply shook his head.

Finally there was good news. "The fever has broken, and he's sleeping peacefully," Dr. Russell told Lou. "The danger's over, and he's no longer contagious."

"Thank God!" Lou exclaimed. She called Marge right away.

"Mommy!" called Timmy, Wyatt, and Ruby as they tumbled out of their grandmother's car and ran toward their mother. Lou hugged them and smothered them with kisses. Never before had she been so happy to see them.

"Sh! Your Daddy's asleep!" she warned them, but it was too late. They were already romping over Rad in bed, and he was smiling and laughing.

Lou stood just smiling and watching them for a few minutes. _Everything's going to be all right now, _she told herself.

Suddenly Rad looked confused and frightened. "I can't move my legs at all," he said.


	4. Lady Killer

"The polio has affected your husband's nerves, rendering him paralyzed," Dr. Russell told Lou. "It's too soon to tell whether or not it's permanent. He'll spend a few weeks in rehabilitation, and by the end of that time, we'll have a better idea how much feeling and movement he's going to get back."

On the day Rad went away to the rehabilitation clinic, Lou was reminded of how she'd felt when he'd gone off to war. She knew that more weeks of loneliness and hard work would follow, nights of lying in a cold bed with nothing but a pillow for company. Yet this time, she wouldn't have to worry about who might be keeping Rad's bed warm.

"I'm going to miss you," she told him as she kissed him good-bye.

"I'm going to miss you too," he said. "Hopefully, I'll leave this place a man."

"You never stopped being a man to me," Lou told him.

"How on earth can I be a man when I ain't even got no feelin' down there no more?"

"That's not the only thing that makes you a man," Lou told him.

"Well, it's the most important thing to me," Rad replied. "And I aim to get it back if it's the last thing I do." He looked around at the children. "Y'all be good now and mind your ma."

"I love you, Daddy!" Little Ruby threw herself upon her father's paralyzed legs in the wheelchair. "Please don't go away again!"

"I have to, honey." Rad tenderly stroked her blonde hair. "I have to get where I can walk again, and then I can come back home to you and your brothers." He kissed each child's cheek and then was gone.

That night Lou lay awake in bed for a long time listening to the ordinary sounds of the night. She wondered what rehabilitation for paralytics was like. She imagined Rad lying helplessly in a hospital bed while doctors and nurses poked and prodded him. The thought made her shudder.

She ended up having to go back to work at the plant where she'd worked while Rad had been away at war. On her first day back on the job, she found herself working beside a man named Jonas whom she'd never seen before. He was not quite as tall as Rad, but more muscular, with brown hair and eyes. He smiled a friendly smile at her, and she smiled back.

At break time, she sat down with her lunch in the usual spot.

"Is this seat taken?" boomed a rich, deep voice, and Lou turned to look into Jonas' dark brown eyes.

"Why, no," she said, hurriedly making room for him.

"So, why don't you tell me a little about yourself," he said pleasantly after he was seated.

"Well, there's not really that much to tell," Lou said shyly. "I'm a sharecropper. My husband's name is Rad, and he just got back from fighting in the war. I've got three kids, Timmy, Wyatt, and Ruby. My oldest boy, Charles, drowned a few weeks ago. Not too long after that, Rad got polio. Ever since then, he's been paralyzed from the waist down. Right now he's in rehabilitation. That's why I had to come back here to work."

"Well, I'm awful sorry for your troubles, ma'am," said Jonas. "Sounds to me like you've sure had your share."

"The good Lord's testin' me, I guess," Lou said. "How about you? Are you married?"

"Not yet," Jonas replied. "I just got back from the war myself. I figure it's about time I was puttin' down some roots."

The bell rang just then, so they had to stop talking and go back to work.

For the rest of that day, Lou couldn't take her mind off Jonas' smile. When she got home that evening, she picked up a picture of her great grandfather, Rhett Butler. Jonas' smile reminded her so much of her great grandfather's. Rhett Butler must have been such a lady killer in his time, she thought.


	5. Concert In The Park

That weekend, Lou took the children and went to visit Rad at the rehabilitation clinic. It looked just like a hospital, with white everywhere - white ceiling, white walls, white doors, white floor, nurses and aides all dressed in white. Lou told the woman at the front that she was there to visit Rad and was directed to his room. When they were almost there, all three children broke into a run.

"Kids! No runnin' in the halls!" Lou said loudly, receiving curious looks from a couple of passersby in the hallway.

Rad was sitting up in bed listening to a radio when his family arrived. To Lou he looked pretty much the same as he always had.

"Daddy!" shouted the children, rushing to meet him. Rad picked them up one by one and hugged and kissed them.

"I'm so glad to see y'all again! How's everyone doin'?" he asked.

"I hit a home run yesterday!" Timmy said excitedly.

"Well, now, ain't that somethin'!" his father said with a big grin.

"I can ride my bike without trainin' wheels now!" Wyatt exclaimed.

"That's my big boy!" Rad praised him.

"I miss you, Daddy!" said Ruby.

"I miss you too, honey," Rad told her. "But I'll be all better soon, and when I am, I'll come right back home to you and your brothers." He picked up a magazine. "You see this man?"

Ruby nodded.

"That's our President, Franklin D. Roosevelt. He had polio too, just like I did."

"How's your treatments comin' along?" Lou wanted to know.

Rad made a face. "It's the hardest thing I've ever been through in my life, Lou. Who would have ever thought that just puttin' one foot in front of the other would be so hard? But it is. I just get so discouraged sometimes." Lou saw a tear in the corner of one eye, and it tugged at her heart.

"You just keep on tryin', darlin'. You're gonna come out on top. I just know it." She hugged Rad's head to her breast.

"I love you, darlin'," Rad mumbled as she stroked his hair.

"I love you too, sweetheart," she told him, kissing the top of his head.

After awhile the children grew restless, so she had to take them home.

In the meantime, Lou's friendship with Jonas at the plant blossomed. They spent a lot of time talking and getting to know one another and discovered that they had quite a bit in common. One weekend the children were staying with their grandmother and Jonas invited Lou to a concert in the park. It was a bright, sunny day, and they'd brought a blanket to sit on while they ate hot dogs and drank lemonade.

"This really takes me back to the days when Rad and I were courtin', before we had the kids," Lou said to Jonas.

"I never noticed before how beautiful your hair looks with the sun shinin' on it," Jonas told her.

Lou smiled and blushed deeply.

"You have beautiful eyes as well," Jonas went on. "Just like the clear blue skies." He lightly touched her chin. "You're so lovely when you do that."

Lou looked into his eyes and saw that they were warm with desire. She barely had time to think that it was wrong before Jonas' lips were upon her own in a searing kiss.


	6. Forbidden Passion

The rest of that afternoon seemed to pass in a blur for Lou. She was barely aware of Jonas picking her up and carrying her to the car, then driving back to her empty house. Once there, he picked her up and carried her inside and laid her on the bed. Quickly he began to shed his clothing. Lou's eyes grew wide as he stood before her in nothing but his underpants.

"I ain't never seen any man naked but Rad," she told him.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked.

Suddenly she was dizzy with overwhelming desire. "I want to see you," she whispered, tugging on the elastic of his underwear. Swiftly it was shed and his erect member bobbed proudly before her.

"My, but you have a big one," she murmured, touching it gingerly.

"The better to love you with, my dear," he said huskily. His hands were busily removing first her dress, then her bra. He began to caress her breasts, and she felt her nipples harden.

"You know we shouldn't be doin' this," she murmured.

"Well, your man ain't able to any more, is he?"

"Well...no..."

"All right, then."

A moment later, her panties lay on the floor, and Jonas' fingers were between her legs, touching her most intimate spots. She began to moan softly.

"You like that, don't you?" Jonas asked softly. "I know you do."

"But what about Rad?"

"Forget about Rad. He's had a woman or two on the side from time to time now, ain't he?"

"Well...yes..."

"All right, then. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. At least that's what I always say."

A moment later, he was inside her. Desperately, she tried to sweep the feelings of guilt away and concentrate on the pleasure Jonas was giving her.

"Well, I guess I'd better get going," Jonas said after awhile. "Are you gonna be all right?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Lou said softly.

For a long time after Jonas had left, Lou just lay there, staring at the wall. Would her great grandmother Scarlett have behaved as Lou herself just had? Lou knew the answer to that question.

Finally she got up and dressed. The house seemed entirely too quiet without the children. Lou was glad when it was time to pick them up.

"Did y'all have fun?" she asked.

"Oh, yes!" Timmy exclaimed. "Grandma took us to the circus!"

"Oh, wow! So did you get to see the lions and the bears and the monkeys?"

"Yes, and the midgets, and the hunchback, and the bearded lady..."

Little Ruby hid her face in her mother's skirt.

"Aw, you're just a baby!" Wyatt teased her.

"Stop it, Wyatt!" his mother scolded. She gathered the children together and took them home.

Lou dreaded going back to the plant. Although she'd enjoyed her encounter with Jonas - he'd touched her in ways Rad never had - the intensity of the guilt she'd felt afterwards had amazed her. She knew that she'd have to stay away from Jonas from now on.

On the day she went back to work, she tried to slip into the plant unnoticed, but it didn't work.

"Hey, baby!" Lou looked up into Jonas' leering eyes and had a sinking feeling deep in the pit of her stomach.


	7. Rad Comes Home

"What's wrong?" asked Jonas. "You act like you ain't happy to see me."

"It ain't that," said Lou. "I _do _like you, Jonas. It's just that we can't never be together again like we were Saturday. It just ain't right. I'm _married."_

"But your husband can't give you any now, and he might not ever can again," Jonas protested.

"That don't matter," Lou replied. "He's still my husband."

Jonas looked disappointed but didn't say anything. He didn't sit with her at lunch like he usually did. Lou saw him sitting at the opposite end of the cafeteria, talking and laughing with another woman who worked with them. Relief flooded through her.

The next time Lou went to visit Rad at the clinic, she found him in a very cheerful mood.

"Look what I can do now!" he said proudly. He took a crutch in each hand and painstakingly pulled himself into a standing position. Ever so slowly, he began to shuffle across the floor, leaning heavily on the crutches. When he got to the other side of the room, he looked back at her triumphantly.

"Good for you!" Lou exclaimed, clapping enthusiastically. She rushed to hug Rad tightly.

"And that ain't all," Rad told her. "The feelin' is startin' to come back in other places too, if you know what I mean."

"That's wonderful," said Lou. "I can't wait to hold you in my arms again." For the first time since Charles' death, Lou felt genuinely happy.

A month later, Rad was finally discharged from the clinic. He still used crutches, but he was able to walk much better, barely needing them at all. Lou baked a cake for the occasion and dressed herself and the children up. Rad's eyes lit up when he stepped into the house and saw all the preparations she'd made.

"Did you really do all this for me?" he asked.

Timmy, Wyatt, and Ruby, overjoyed to see their father again, constantly swarmed around him, craving his attention.

"One at a time, kids," he finally told them.

Lou cooked fried chicken, biscuits, mashed potatoes, and green beans for dinner. Afterwards she served cake and ice cream.

"You're really spoilin' me today, sweetheart," Rad told his wife.

"I'm just ever so happy to finally have you home again," she replied.

That night Lou put on the black negligee that Rad had brought from Paris for her.

"You're beautiful," Rad whispered, beginning to touch her.

She helped him to take off his pants. She saw that he was slightly hard, but not enough so for penetration. She took him into her hand, stimulating him as she normally did, but instead of immediately hardening as he had before his illness, he remained partially limp. She continued to stimulate him for a long time with no further result.

"Aw, it ain't gonna happen," Rad cried, frustrated.

"I've got an idea," Lou said. "Somethin' I ain't never tried before."

Feeling a bit uncertain about it, but desperate to help her husband, Lou gingerly took Rad's organ into her mouth and began to gently lick and suckle it. The sensation was not an unpleasant one; in fact, Lou found herself becoming quite aroused.

"Golly!" Rad cried in surprise and delight. Within seconds he was firm enough for penetration, and Lou lay back so that he could enter her. Afterwards they lay in one another's arms, and Lou felt that a raw, aching wound deep inside her had finally healed.

"Lou, you are really some woman," Rad told her gratefully. "I don't know what in the world I'd do without you. And I swear to you, Lou, I'll never again take another woman to bed, no matter how lonely I get."

"I love you, Rad." Lou had never meant the words more fervently than she did now.


	8. Epilogue

**One Year Later**

"Well, ain't you a purdy little thang," Rad said to his newborn daughter, Pearl.

"She's sure got a lot of her daddy in her," added Lou. They both watched admiringly as Pearl grimaced and flailed a tiny fist.

"And some of her mama as well," said Rad. The only thing he had left to show from his bout with polio was a slight limp, which he'd probably always have. He'd returned to sharecropping with Reeve months before, and Lou had been able to leave her job at the plant.

They both still missed Charles, and always would, but time had taken the edge off their sorrow, leaving them with bittersweet memories of a life tragically cut short.

"Ruby's going to be so excited to have a baby sister," said Lou.

"She's a little miracle, all right," Rad agreed. For him, the baby was tangible proof that his recovery from polio was complete.

"She's beautiful," Lou said, raising a tiny fist and kissing it. "It's hard to believe that she came from you and me. From our love."

Pearl opened her milky blue eyes and gazed into her mother's face.

"That's right," Rad whispered to her. "You're our beautiful little miracle, and Mama and Daddy love you very much."

Lou felt love for her husband and children wash over her. She couldn't wait to get home and introduce Pearl to her sister and brothers.


End file.
